Charlie Christ and the Crosswalk!

Hello! If you came here from the Greenwich Time or simply from web curiosity, Niente Peaches welcomes you! Who are we? What do we do? Put simply, we are a comedy group that is currently working on our first feature length film entitled Charlie Christ: The Gospel According to Fools! More details can be found in this blog post. But first, let me explain the cover photo to this article…

Yesterday, one of our Niente Peaches members (Tom Stroll) was applying for a job at Starbucks. On his way out of the evil empire cafe, he bumped into a burly white mountain man in his mid-fifties carrying a large crucifix covered in signatures. Tom decided to probe this gentleman for information. It turns out this guy’s name is also Tom! But that’s not all! This burly Tom is carrying a cross on his back from Maine to Mexico spreading the word of Jesus. Charlie friggin Christ that’s a long walk!

Burly Tom (right) Niente Peaches Tom (Left)

The two Tom’s got to talking and it’s not what you think! He’s not trying to persecute others or tell them, “THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY!” “ONE JESUS TO CONTROL THEM ALL!” He’s actually just looking to connect with anyone and everyone he meets regardless of their creed, lack thereof, sexual identity, ethnicity or political views. Kinda neat right? Wait a sec isn’t that kinda what Christianity was supposed to be about to begin with? Ya know peace on Earth and good will that sorta thing?

The New Jersey-ite

Then a New Jersey-ite in sunglasses came along and did not seem to agree with the whole peace thing. Yeah, that’s the guy I mean, the one on the right. The one in the hat. The one that is totally about “ONE JESUS TO CONTROL THEM ALL!” So this New Jersey guy basically said that all the Jews, Muslims, other non-Christians and gays are going to hell if they don’t repent and embrace Jesus before they die. Amidst the New Jersey guy’s GOP/Santorum-esque rant, Niente Peaches Tom interjected…

Niente Peaches Tom

In the most delicate way possible, Niente Peaches Tom conveyed a response that was something along the lines of, “Okay…that’s one view point. Have you considered that perhaps that’s a little…ummm… how should I put it? Fucking stupid!”

It’s ironic that the guy that is carrying a cross on his back on a walk that will span over 1,000 miles is NOT the Christian extremist! Rather the extremist is the New Jersey-ite driving a shitty, 1980’s Mitsubishi. I thought that NJ governor, John Corzine had a special program where they kept these crazies under lock and key to save face. I guess this one got loose and had to get a cup of coffee at Starbucks!

Anyway, after Niente Peaches Tom posed his question, the New Jersey-ite dodged it by going on a rant about how ammonia and baking soda in a test tube proves that there is a heaven and hell and that there is only a Christian God. That’s when Niente Peaches Tom simply said, “It’s getting late, you should probably tend to your inbred family before they realize you’ve gone missing.” And so the New Jersey-ite parted ways and the two Tom’s continued their conversation. Unfortunately it was not for too long as Burly Tom needed to push on with his pilgrimage.

Burly Tom Departs

Veratech President, James William Ryan III

By the way, we have the whole thing on video and will put it together for you soon! But what does this have to do with our comedy group? Well if you couldn’t tell by the title of our film, Charlie Christ: The Gospel According to Fools, it’s a religious satire. So what’s it about? Well here you go:

Claudio Chiuso Meets God

A multinational conglomerate called Veratech funds a project headed up by one of their top scientists, Claudio Chiuso. The project seeks to prove that God exists on Earth with us but on a different frequency of light. As fortune would have it, he was right and Dr. Chiuso does in fact meet God! And God has chosen the form of a twenty something white guy. Well, God decides that the “cat’s out of the bag now!” So he goes down to

Claudio Chuiso Enters God's Realm

Earth and performs a few miracles then heads back home. This freaks everyone out, so all the nations of the world decide that they’re gonna kidnap Claudio Chiuso so he can take them to meet and appease God. The rationale here is that, whichever nations appeases God is truly God’s country. That way the favored nation can do whatever the hell they want. As it would happen a few nations decide to kidnap Chiuso on the exact same day. Well, needless to say there was some arguing and shoving. It got so out of hand, however, that Chiuso was killed in the process! The secret to finding God died with Chiuso as he never recorded his findings! What are we gonna do now? I know! Let’s blame each other. Well that’s exactly what happened but in the biggest way possible, you guessed it…World War III! Well God didn’t like this too much so Judgement Day was declared! “Happy Judgement Day everyone” God said, as all the major cities were set a blaze! The four horsemen came down, waves of destruction, the usual.

Chiuso is Literally Pulled Apart

Of course humanity just doesn’t take this kind of antagonizing lying down. So all the nations of the world launched their own campaigns against the Apocalypse. All failed miserably. After the fall, Earth gets blown back to the dark ages. God now decides that it is time for humanity to be completely extinct.

Charlie Kemp

Just when the light of humanity is put out forever; a lone hero emerges. This hero’s name is Charlie Kemp and he has the knowledge & ability to pull humanity from the darkness. He has traveled through forests and traversed desserts to learn the secrets of the universe. He knows humanity can survive and he knows that humanity can rebuild for a better future.

Charlie Kemp Traversing the Dessert

He’s got the guts but will he sell them on the black market to raise money for the glory? Find out in Charlie Christ: The Gospel According to Fools!

Well, if you’ve read this far then that means that you’re at least faintly interested! Congratulations! Interested in learning more? Well, we’re in our last shooting season for the movie and as you can guess, this a full length film (not a short). You can help us and yourself by following us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/NientePeaches or becoming a fan on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/tom.stroll?ref=ts#/pages/Niente-Peaches/56954216316?ref=ts. If you’re in the tri-state (New York, Connecicut, New Jersey) area we always welcome new cast/crew. We can’t pay you but we’re sure that we can make you laugh and you might even get a meal out of it! Waay cool right? But more than your interest, we want your money! That’s only half of a joke, we really need help with our budget! Interested in investing? Interested in donating? Donations rock by the way. Just send us an email or give us a call, we’ll give you more details about the project. If you want to give $2 we’ll be very appreciative. If you want to give us $10,000 then we’ll start a religion for you! But seriously, if you have any interest please don’t hesitate to contact us:

Phone#: (203) 273-8970

Email: ernie.zahn@divine-comedies.com